One step, one day, one cofession at a time... Today, I was bold, vulnrable and raw. I shared my heart's cry for brothers and sisters to hold me up in prayer. I shared that I was going through a time of trial and needed thier love, prayers and overall support. All but one encouraged me with scripture, listened to me and prayed with me. I am so grateful for their tender merciful hearts! When I read scripture, this is what I see! The truth of the good news to me, means that my life is going to be hard at times and I will need others to walk with on this journey.
It has been very clear to me on my path that when I share from my heart, some believe that it is better to remind me that at least I don't have ----- fill in the blank with a very serious life issue. (I suddenly hear "the voice" that tells me to shup up, be quiet, stop drawing attention and put on a fake happy face! It is much better to pretend than be authentic! No one really cares about you unless yours dying so stop it! And if you were dying it would be more holy if you kept that to yourself and suffered a long time before letting anyone know about it!") I really do want to obey scripture and to me that means confessing, praying, reaching out asking for support, having compassion for others and understanding that this is not all about me, if I do "shup up and be a good little girl" truth will never shine light on the darkness of my heart!
Please pray with me as I seek to lay down my will, ie. revenge, unforgiveness, the urge to share another's sin to make myself feel better about the pain that "they caused me!" I choose to live in the grace of Christ that says that "my enemy" is also my brother and I have the opportunity to bless him rather than slander him. I pray that my heart is transformed and produces good fruit from this frustration! In Christ I pray- Amen!
